Hey Santa! Yeah! You! Get your ass over here! I’ve got my list and I’ve been good!

My hubby says he never knows what to get me for Christmas. Usually, I end up with a gift certificate - or even scarier – he goes shopping with me and proffers his credit card at check out. Subtle hints do no good, as he never seems to remember hearing me say that I wanted a new chef’s knife repeatedly in the six months preceding the holidays. I have even gone as far as leaving websites open on the computer and bookmarking reviews in his folder. There must be something in the makeup of male psyche that resists such manipulation.

Sigh - what’s a gal to do?

So now the gloves are off - and I am gonna pimpslap that man o’ mine into buying me something I want, wrapping it up and putting it under the tree!

Number one on the Rosie Wishlist

A New Kitchen Timer – my old timer used to live on the fridge. That was until someone (and he knows who he is…) slammed the door too hard while getting a beer and my beloved timer crashed to the floor and broke into a million pieces. Ok – may not a million - but it sure as hell looked like it.

Number Two

A real live digital scale – My old scale is one I inherited from my mom - it is a Braun spring driven model that is so old the white plastic has acquired a yellow tint. My hubby asks why I don’t get back into bread baking - well here it is: buy me this and there will be no more excuses!

Number Three

Replacements for my broken Pyrex Mixing Bowls – I love my old Pyrex mixing bowls. I have the remnants of two sets: my mother’s primary color nesting bowls and my pink and white Gooseberry bowls. Since my daughter has been big enough to “help” me by washing dishes, my Pyrex bowls seems to have sustained the most casualties. I do not care who you have to mug or how much you have to pay – I want my bowls back!

Number Four

Chocolate – need I say more?

Number Five

A New Car – Considering all the driving I have to do to keep us in kibbles, I think I deserve a new car. I just want something small that will carry all my groceries, respond to the gas when I go for the parking spot that just opened up and a kickin’ stereo system so I can ignore the cries and whines of the peasantry. A nice Caddy Escalade will do - nothing pretentious.

Number Six

A New House – I have decided that I really need a new house - or maybe just an old house surrounding a new kitchen - yeah…I think that would work fine too. Of course, it would have to be in a better neighborhood. I just can’t have my new Escalade hanging around with Fords and Chevys. It might develop a complex. And of course, the most important part of a new house is the vault… for the chocolate. Did I mention the chocolate?