The Offspring

I have a teenage daughter, who is 14. She is a food freak. She hates peanut butter, but will eat tripe and sushi all day long. She was extremely upset when her favorite Chinese restaurant closed it doors, as she was no longer able to eat chicken feet for dim sum.

Having a teenager is like owning a garbage disposal. The food goes in, there is a loud grinding noise, and then there is room for more. Occasionally something gets stuck and you have to use a large stick to pound it down into the gullet, but other than that it is pretty maintenance-free.

Annie had Home-Ec (or whatever they call it now) this year, and they taught cooking. Or in her words “They taught attempted cooking.” In this class she discovered she hates over-cooked zucchini, over-cooked eggs and “something that looked like puke on a plate that was supposed to be a low fat stir fry”. Being from a full fat household, she was grossed out by skim milk as well. I know her teacher thought she was a food snob. And her teacher would be right.

My hubby and I are both good cooks. We cook high quality vitals at our house and are proud of it. Annie has resisted our most recent attempts to teach her cooking, as we insist on an apprenticeship of dish washing and potato peeling. All good cooks start out as scullery maids. I know I did. Next she can progress to potato masher and gravy stirrer. She feigns disinterest in actual baking, but I have caught her eyeing my Kitchenaid mixer from time to time. Whether those looks mean she wants to make something in it, or see what she can destroy using its 500 watts of power, I am not sure.

She can cook one thing flawlessly though: scrambled eggs. They are the most perfect eggs, light and moist. They are better than mine and I dare say they rival her father’s, who is the resident egg specialist. She is on strike though. She got tired of our endless clamoring for more eggs on weekend mornings, and now she will not cook them at all. It is enough to cause despair.

Next time: More on the house egg specialist and sandwich god - Tony