I bet you all know this woman. She goes to your rotary/bondage club, shows up at the neighborhood association and she always brings food. It looks good, it even tastes good..but once everything is consumed she reveals her evil plot: The recipe had a secret ingredient. Sauerkraut Chocolate Cake, anyone? Pâte de château blanc? Grape Jelly Meatballs?
Our good neighbor loves to sneak in something just to see if she can do it. After the food is gone, she comes up and holds the inquisition. “What did you think? Could you taste the grape jelly? It wasn’t too viscous was it?” You mumble your replies and beat a hasty retreat, hoping you can make it home before your stomach purges itself. “The cake had tomato soup in it…could you tell?” Urp…maybe you won’t..where is that ladies’ room anyways?
There are a lot of different kinds of cooks in this world. People who cook to share with others, people who cook to make themselves look talented, people who putter in the kitchen, or people who just want something to eat. But none of these are like the aforementioned lady. She is the kid who put chalk dust in you milk at school just to watch would happen when you drank it. She is the fast food wage slave who wee’d in the pickles just to see if anyone could tell the difference. She takes a vicious delight in the look on your face when she reveals the true nature of your meal. Once bitten, twice shy, you avoid her food from then on, but do you stop others? No, you watch with voyeuristic delight as others chow down on her infamous creations. You lurk nearby to hear their stammered answers to her questions. “Could you taste the eel in the ice cream?” And finally, as they reel away pale and nauseous, you point a silent finger to the bathrooms.
Does that appeal to some sick part of you, hidden deep down? Don’t deny it..you want to make a chocolate cake with sauerkraut in it…come on…
Chocolate Sauerkraut Cake
¾ cup sauerkraut drained and chopped
1 ½ cups sugar
½ cup butter
1 tsp. pure vanilla
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
½ tsp. salt
1 cup water
½ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
Preheat oven to 350 degrees
- Sift all dry ingredients together. Cream sugar, butter and vanilla. Beat eggs in one at a time.
- Add dry ingredients to creamed mixture alternately with water.
- Add sauerkraut, mix thoroughly.
- Pour into greased pan or pans.
- Bake 30 to 40 minutes until cake tests done.
(Warning: I have not tried this recipe. My reputation stands untarnished!)