Everything I do turns out perfect. My family raves and shouts “Brava! Brava!” at every meal. My coworkers swoon over my cookies and my friends beg for my lasagna. I am magnificent – perfection itself – the acme of home cookery!
And I also have some beach front property for sale in Florida if you are interested and a good deal on the Brooklyn Bridge to boot.
Every so often, I loose the ability to cook tasty food. I don’t know what it is – something in my brain just doesn’t connect and dinner will be a disaster. It will look fine – nothing burned, nothing raw –but the taste will be absolutely awful. A couple of years ago, I had a four day streak of cooking that was so bad, the hubby took us out to dinner for the rest of the week. He said I must have strained something and I needed to give it a chance to rest.
This last week, I decided I wanted to do a stir fry with some of the garden veggies and some surimi. I got out all the usual ingredients. I tossed them together using a formula that had worked before. Everything should have been fine – but it wasn’t.
We sat down to eat and Annie, the perpetually hungry teen, started shoving the food in her face and said “murphe murphsy murfh.” I took that to mean everything was great. Tony sat down and took a bite. The strangest look came over his face. He took another bite. Then he kinda shoved it around the plate like a five year old who was hoping the dog would come by to eat all his veggies. A couple minutes later, Annie went to get more milk and Tony looked at me and said, “This sucks. I can’t eat it.” Ah, my wonderful tactful hubby!
Thing is, I had to agree. The food wasn’t right. It was too – something or not enough of something else. I cannot describe to you what was wrong with it, but it tasted so odd that it was unpleasant to eat. Annie, on the other hand, kept on eating after pouring a huge dollop of sriracha sauce on it. Tony and I didn’t let out a peep. If she could eat it – more power to her!
About 20 minutes later I discovered we were almost out of milk and Tony graciously offered to drive me to the store. White Castles never tasted so good…
4 comments:
Oh yes!!! I've had those days too. It's a very strange thing, but I sometimes think it happens when my enthusiasm for cooking is at it's lowest. But, you did please Annie, right? We don't have White Castle out here. Too bad. In the South they have Crystal hamburgers. Ever had them? They are similar to White Castle.
I have not had any yet but my hubby has traveled down South quite a bit and he says that Crystal burgers are a pale imitation of White Castles!
LOL!! Yes, White Castle rules!
You're the "acMe of home cookery"? That's funny because I sometimes think I'm the "acNe of home cookery". I so know what you mean. Some days it comes out just...wrong...
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